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The Beginning of the End

It’s been a real while since I’ve blogged anything, and well now I can afford to because it’s the day before the end of school, the end of my junior life, the beginning of the end of highschool. I can’t believe that I’ve grown up so much, which is hardly in the literal sense but more of the addition of numbers. I don’t feel much older or any more maturer than the cooing dog lover that I am. I don’t take things too sensibly and I still am more driven by my emotions than any logical sense. It’s one year left before I’m off to college and living independently, and it’s quite intimidating; mostly because I thought by now I would know what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go with my life. Taking the IB curriculum is no joke, and I scoff at myself when I believed that they were exaggerating when they called the IB the most difficult highschool curriculum in the world…but holidays are near, and I have some time on my hands so why not.

Nothing much has happened really, except I feel that becoming the next senior has made me more content and self assured. As I’m preparing for college, this has required me to take several ‘big’ tests that I always used to chide seniors for complaining about…the SAT’s, TOEFL, TOPIK, SAT II etc. This has given me the air of senior superiority, and rightly so! All these stresses and challenges are not something to be taken granted for, as work is for the father and housework for the mother. Students face numerous challenges, personal challenges, educational challenges and social challenges when they attend high school, and more often than not their stuggles (our struggles) are denied and dismissed like they’re trivial. Which they are sometimes, but I solemnly swear that I will listen when my children speak to me. Because often than not, they’re sly, desperate pleas for help and attention which they will start looking for in the wrong places if not tended to.

I just write so much, and type so quickly when I’m on a roll. (I’m on this roll now). Yesterday my friend’s ex was involved in a car accident and died. Here in Zimbabwe, where drunken immature teenagers are allowed driving permits, I think that we have lost atleast one student every year, all throughout my high school years. Problem? Problem.  No one should lose someone so dear to them to something to preventable as a car accident. Luckily, I haven’t been close to any of them but my heart breaks for anyone who lost a close member of their family.

Nowadays, I find myself immersed in mindless social networking sites like facebook and twitter, rather than doing some meaningful soul searching or picking up a good book. During the past semester, I’ve been driven in my school work and trying to catch up with the curriculum; it has been challenging where I’ve been constantly guilt tripping myself when I wasn’t doing anything related to school.

Really, junior life is so busy and it’s terrifying to think that I will be sending college applications in less than four months. I really hope I get into the school that I want to get into, which is the Yonsei University in Korea. This is my dream, (unfortunately for many others to) and with this goal in mind I’ve been tirelessly slaving away for my scores and for my gpa. This is especially challenging with my rigorous and diverse curriculum with these internal assessments and further oral activity- one of the many (tedious) highlights of the IB curriculum.

Sometimes I get so stressed and worn down by the expectations that others have of me, and those that I have of myself. I know I am more than capable of achieving my dreams if only I continue working for them. This is something I hope to continue to, even if it gets hard and unbearable, I must persevere.

 

Thank you. (?) haha 

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