college, personal, Uncategorized

meek.

I found myself lying, face drooping into the slopes of my pillow, weighed down by all the things I should probably be doing and the things I wish I was doing. My uneven posture and tense legs strain from clenching and releasing early this morning from when I was taking my driver’s for the second time. Later, I struggled to cover the rose of my frost-bitten cheeks with multiple layers of foundation. It still shone through, a harsh and unapologetic bloom.

I tend to find myself fleeting from one place to the next, eagerly checking off the menial things off my diary for comfort. Put money into the bank. Check the dates for performance. Get some groceries–especially some salad. I should really get into that. I then crash into bed when they are done, feeling strangely unaccomplished and disconnected to my self.

I picked off the pieces of my body, the mangled individuals cast here and there over the bed. Recollected myself, and gathered together a self that can writes. I try to make meaning of the empty space. No matter how many times I try to keep my desk clear of the clutter, my pens and books with stickers and orange peels litter the top, and stay there until someone else enters.

I see a message pop up from my friend. We find solace in each other. There are friends you meet in blurs to pass messy nights with, and others with whom you reach out for in the darkness, meandering the unknown hills and edging around the crevices. I talk again about my feelings. She returns the same. I feel that there are many of us out there tonight–we are not lost, but just waiting for the winter to pass us over.

 

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adventure, Blogging, college, exploring, personal, travels

Hello World

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It’s been almost a year since I’ve properly updated this blog. It’s been a long time coming. There were times where I’d recall with quite the pang how much I enjoyed and needed to express myself in a blog, but I was often too busy and many times too afraid to come back to this platform. I’ve just returned from my trip in Busan a week into finishing my first year at Yonsei University. I finally found the soul’s leisure to pick up some books from my to read list, and top of the list was The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Now, though I would call myself a scholar I admit that it is difficult to force down informationals in a summer read, especially on arbitrary tips on ‘how to be happy.’ However, I’ve heard some rave reviews about it, and I must say that I do agree. It is simplistic, experimental, and life changing.

It is pretty tough trying to stay afloat as a new adult, thrust into the city alone and unknowing, and often against my will I find myself feeling grumpy and defensive against the world. Reading this book reminded me of the little pleasures I have in life, and what keeps me gentle and humble. It struck me how similar my life is to that of the author, having an affinity to the languages but directing myself towards law instead, the short anger spouts and most of all, simply trying to live and enhance a life that is already pretty worth living.She started a blog despite her doubts, and so I’ve decided to do the same.

It is a great summer read, and recommendable to anyone.

Look forward to my Busan trip post!

Thank you everyone who has stuck around,

Sincerely,

Me.

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Uncategorized

The Beautiful Blogger Award

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Um, I’m not entirely sure what this whole awarding thing is about, but I just want to give you a big, slobby, heartfelt thank you for nominating me! 
I set out on this wordpress a couple of months ago, when I felt so frustrated about everything, and mostly the amount of free time I had on my hands over the holiday. It has been a blessing. i’ve been constantly inspired by the wonderful blogs and beautiful people that I’ve met here, and I would to thank all of you very, very much.

 

I want to give a big thank you to these special people:

littlemissnerdybookworm.wordpress.com

girlwiththesilverlocket.wordpress.com

okaaythen.wordpress.com x
mjmiddleditch@hotmail.co.uk

chelseainspace.wordpress.com

ihaveaumpalumpaonmyhead.wordpress.com

Thank you to these guys for the nominations and the encouragements! You guys inspire me.

 

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Uncategorized

Juge pas. (Judge Not.)

My lovelies, it’s finally Christmas. It is going better than I expected – rather than being bored by myself at home, I am bored over here at my sisters. Anyway.

Scrolling through the reader, I noticed some blogs and stumbled onto one that basically scorned some bloggers for showcasing their personal issues.

Now, we all blog for very different reasons. Some do it to illustrate their mad cooking abilities, beautiful (and sometimes very strange) photography and write travel envious travel guides; whilst the majority of us just want to express whatever emotions we are feeling, be it positive or negative. Negative self image, most importantly, is a very touchy subject, and judging one on that, especially when many of these blogs are anonymous, is a very touchy thing to do.

Bare in mind, bloggers, that we ourselves are not perfect. None of us are. This is just a fact that we have to come in terms with. This means, that we cannot judge anyone, and it saddens me terribly when I see derogatory racial terms being thrown around and negative judgements on personal issues are being dished out so carelessly. Words cut deep. Try pouring some acid into that wound, for some extra flavor. 

and  that is all.

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