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HRE Zimbabwe// Day amongst the flowers

Confession: I have a strong affinity for flowers. So imagine the delight when I finally returned home to Zimbabwe for a sunny winter, quite different from the shivers in Korea! I visited the local organic market held nearby my house where the ordinary parking space was dotted with homemade pastes, cookies, meringues…homegrown flower pots and all the sort!

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Passed by a beautiful flower shop in Arundel village that’s been open all throughout my childhood

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Right next door, in a beautifully quaint cafe we ordered some deliciously frothy chocolate milkshakes and croissants filled with fresh vegetables. An aesthetically pleasing day all round.

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Ex-tra

Starting to talk with your ex is a never good idea, especially when you were never entirely confident about your breakup in the first place. 

My ex started talking to me again, and there I found myself going online more often than needed and with more enthusiasm doused with inappropriateness. And this is dangerous. Because my feelings are being rekindled, and I am sure they are not being returned. 

If you break up with someone, then I believe that no matter how much you might argue, you did it for a reason. The guy can be the sweetest or the greatest, but there is that one thing that came between the two of you. This should never be forgotten, because darling, the first time might be excusable as an honest mistake, but the same mistake is by choice.

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Love loss

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Love loss

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Don’t fall in love with a Curious One

Don’t fall in love with a curious one.

They will want to know who you are, where you come from, what your family was like.

They will look through your photographs and read all of your poems. They will come over for dinner and speak to your mother about how their curiosity has taught them things of use to her. They will ask you to rant when you’re angry and cry when you’re hurt.

They will ask what that raised eyebrow meant. They will want to know your favorite food, your favorite color, your favorite person. They will ask why.

They will buy that camera you liked, pay attention to that band you love in case there’s a show near by, they will get you the sweater you smiled at once. They’ll learn to cook your favorite meals.

The curious people don’t settle for your shell, they want the insides.

They want what makes you heavy, what makes you uneasy, what makes you scream

for joy, and anger, and heartbreak.

Their skin will turn into pages

that you learn to pour out your entire being in.

Don’t fall in love with the curious one.

They won’t let a sigh go unexplained.

They will want to know what they did

Exactly what they did to make you love them.

Year, month, week, day.

“What time was it? What did I say? What did I do?

How did you feel?”

Don’t fall in love with a curious one because I’ve been there.

They will unbutton your shirt

and read every scar

every mark

every curve.

They will dissect your every limb, every organ, every thought, every being

then walk back home and eat their dinner and never return your calls.

You will never be their lifelong expedition. The heart is a mystery only for so long.

There is no ache like loving a curious one

who chases every falling star and never catching one.

Who comes and sees and conquers

and leaves.

I’ve fallen in love with a curious one.
Maybe one day he will take the train back home
and be curious enough to read one last message from me
carved on a seat.

“There’s a curiosity in you that will move mountains some day

as effortlessly as you’ve moved me for years.”

 

 

 

 

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My own saviour

Because I hated it when my ex said that I was hurt/damaged/scarred and he would help heal/treat/save me. Dafuq? No. I can fight my own battles, I just need someone to stand by me whilst I do it.

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My own saviour

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Hi, ex. or not.

I saw him at school today. I guess it was his first day back, and of course I ran into him as he was walking into school, just my wonderful, beautiful luck. I was surrounded by my classmates, all hurrying to our languages class. He was still tall, still towering over everyone, he still wore the same red shirt that I had grown accustomed to, searching for it in crowded rooms, he was still, him. He avoided my eyes. I avoided his. There were twenty people between us, but the space between us felt narrow, and when he turned away it was a slap in the face. I saw him multiple times throughout the day, it’s funny how when we were dating we didn’t seem to see enough of each other, yet now it seems like fate keeps clashing us together. 😛 Stop it, fate. I will kick you.

He lives right next to my school. I was going to my friend’s house who also lives right next doors, (Ryan) with Miguel to print the cover jacket for his mixtape that he made for my friend, Sacha. I looked back, and I saw him there. He was looking at the art department, obviously he had seen me too. He laid back, waiting for me to disappear, and I did.

I did.

 

What the hell is this. From everything, to nothing. From lovers to strangers. From friends to awkward acquaintances. 

Will this feeling ever go away? I don’t miss him anymore, and I know I made the right decision. But this awkwardness is intolerable. Will things get better? Will we be able to meet each other’s eyes, level, and raise the ends of our lips to a warm, accepting smile?

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