college, personal, Uncategorized

meek.

I found myself lying, face drooping into the slopes of my pillow, weighed down by all the things I should probably be doing and the things I wish I was doing. My uneven posture and tense legs strain from clenching and releasing early this morning from when I was taking my driver’s for the second time. Later, I struggled to cover the rose of my frost-bitten cheeks with multiple layers of foundation. It still shone through, a harsh and unapologetic bloom.

I tend to find myself fleeting from one place to the next, eagerly checking off the menial things off my diary for comfort. Put money into the bank. Check the dates for performance. Get some groceries–especially some salad. I should really get into that. I then crash into bed when they are done, feeling strangely unaccomplished and disconnected to my self.

I picked off the pieces of my body, the mangled individuals cast here and there over the bed. Recollected myself, and gathered together a self that can writes. I try to make meaning of the empty space. No matter how many times I try to keep my desk clear of the clutter, my pens and books with stickers and orange peels litter the top, and stay there until someone else enters.

I see a message pop up from my friend. We find solace in each other. There are friends you meet in blurs to pass messy nights with, and others with whom you reach out for in the darkness, meandering the unknown hills and edging around the crevices. I talk again about my feelings. She returns the same. I feel that there are many of us out there tonight–we are not lost, but just waiting for the winter to pass us over.

 

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HRE Zimbabwe// Day amongst the flowers

Confession: I have a strong affinity for flowers. So imagine the delight when I finally returned home to Zimbabwe for a sunny winter, quite different from the shivers in Korea! I visited the local organic market held nearby my house where the ordinary parking space was dotted with homemade pastes, cookies, meringues…homegrown flower pots and all the sort!

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Passed by a beautiful flower shop in Arundel village that’s been open all throughout my childhood

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Right next door, in a beautifully quaint cafe we ordered some deliciously frothy chocolate milkshakes and croissants filled with fresh vegetables. An aesthetically pleasing day all round.

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Beep Beep. Update.

A great deal of new, unexpected things have happened to me, and some involve night clubs and alcohol. What a blast! That experience really brought some perspective into my life, but a whole ‘nother trail of headaches as well- trying to deal with people’s responses with my unexpected actions. 

Well, sorry then.

But more meaningfully, I went to Joburg with my sister this spring break, and it was our first time really to go on a trip just the two of us- and probably the last for a very, very long time. (Personal reasons.) It was a cherish able trip and close to my heart because we really bonded in a big way. We were also blessed enough to buy what we wanted and eat what we wanted thanks to the generosity of my dad. (My mom doesn’t know we went.)

And well, that is all.

I am so behind with all my work, and I honestly have no idea where all spring break went to. I have an Econ commentary, English IA, French and Math quiz and French essay to worry about.

This sucks. I’m off to work.

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