Give me a poem

I said goodbye, and never

left – I swallowed lullaby

and answered phone calls

with a voice, neither

good nor bad.


Mary said, its not a life

like that, I thought she

lied and painted pictures

of flowers in bright

sunlight, and gave them


names (like human beings).

I held boys like pillows,

never leaving lipstick

on pale girl’s cheeks –

sleeping and starving


I smoked my life away.