college, personal, Uncategorized

It’s Ridiculous

…That it’s taken this long for me to post anything on here. Ri-dic-ulous. I am proportionally ashamed of myself because I’ve been busy with moving to a new city and applying for exchange and falling in love and all that. When I start reflecting on my 2015, I can identify all the new joys and richesse that has stripped me of my routine and the hobbies that I identify with myself. Another year has passed, and voila, I somehow find myself here in 2016. Time is unwarranted. It keeps going whether you take hold of it or not.

Currently, I am back home in Harare, Zimbabwe after spending almost a year and a half alone in South Korea. It’s great to be back. A couple of nights ago I met with some of my highschool classmates and it felt good to be able to talk about the powercuts and the ridiculous requirement of you having to go fetch the firefighters AND provide them with some water in case of fire. These are the little ideosyncrases that I can only fully enjoy with these special peoples, because explaining to any others will only result in gasps of shock or sympathetic ‘aws.’ It’s a sad state, but there is so much more to life and richness to our lives that cannot be enveloped by pitiful headlines that makes the international news.

The last year I believe I’ve changed a lot. I have more concrete ideas and beliefs on the things I feel passionate about, and have found more confidence in standing up for it and defending my position. I’ve also made important steps, participating in the little joys of being an adult and leaving my nest. I’ve lived about a year alone now in my own apartment, experiencing the infinite freedom of dancing around only in my underwear, to wishing death upon myself for leaving the food waste rubbish to last minute. I’ve learned what it means to fall in love, the ups and the downs, and what it means to share yourself in a way a little different to before, how it’s been with my family or any of my friends.

As I sat down at my desk, jotting down all the new years resolutions I made (e.g. STOP PROCRASTINATING. FIND 3 HOBBIES AND STICK BY IT. (FIND AN EXERCISE ROUTINE DEMMIT etc), I realized that all these things really amounted to one thing. Call it an idealistic existential crisis if you will, but this is the year I really want to discover myself. Get really in tune and more importantly comfortable with who I am and who I want to be. When I look back in 2016, I hope I can nod and be really satisfied and marvel at my spiritual and emotional growth. Already a lot is in store for me–I’m heading to Australia for a semester of exchange. How did I even pick this country from all the other options? Simple. I was inspired by a vlog I watched, I did some research and I was inspired. I put it as first choice. Surprisingly, I got in. So that’s what it is, I guess.

This is another thing that I’ve come more to terms with me. My carefree personality. It used to stress me out not knowing what I was going to do and always felt guilty about making big choices on a whim rather than the meticulous check lists and research that my friends delved into. But as I say, hey, it’s gotten me this well this far. It must be work pretty well for me!

I hope to write more often.

Cheers to that, and to the new year!

x

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HRE Zimbabwe// Day amongst the flowers

Confession: I have a strong affinity for flowers. So imagine the delight when I finally returned home to Zimbabwe for a sunny winter, quite different from the shivers in Korea! I visited the local organic market held nearby my house where the ordinary parking space was dotted with homemade pastes, cookies, meringues…homegrown flower pots and all the sort!

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Passed by a beautiful flower shop in Arundel village that’s been open all throughout my childhood

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Right next door, in a beautifully quaint cafe we ordered some deliciously frothy chocolate milkshakes and croissants filled with fresh vegetables. An aesthetically pleasing day all round.

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School in Zimbabwe + AISA GISS 2013

I realized recently that I’ve been acting as someone I personally detest- a silent online lurker. A presence that is there, but is too cool to be out there (a person like me, who has the tendency to bombard media with personal crisis with artistic emphasis). Since I’ve been waiting for my mother to pick me up from school for the past thirty minutes, I might as well utilize this time for some artistic ramblings. 

Just two days ago, I returned from Kenya which was the fifth host of the AISA Global Issues Service Summit, a conference celebrating various service projects and innovative ideas in Africa; something I’ve been regularly attending since eighth grade. This year, it was at oh-so-sexy Kenya, where the are a lot of sexy boys. They’re like what impala is to Zimbabwe- beautiful, plentiful, and a damned natural resource.

Anyhow, besides the enjoyable scenery, there was alot to be learnt and experienced there as well. We got to attend a keynote presentation by Spencer West- a truly motivational speaker who had lost his legs at the age of two- yet continued to climb the highest mountain in Africa for sponsorship. His motivational speeches were driven by his enthusiasm and humbleness which really spoke out to me. He was so real, and really touched me, causing me to erupt in goosebumps every five minutes. So great. I don’t know if you can watch him on youtube or something, but definitely a recommendation.

Another key feature of this was dancing with some of the local tribesman there- the Masai Mara. The key point of this dance is jumping up and down rhythmically and bobbing your head repeatedly. This was rather awkward for two reasons – this was done in the middle of the stage, so in a moment of outrageous courage I jumped up and joined them for the world to see, and secondly, the tribesmen grabbed my hands and refused to let go whilst they continued to sing their local chants for a good 20 minutes.

Lovely.

I also enjoyed the social aspect as well- I met a lot of new friends that soon grew to be quite the personal favorite. I met a lovely girl called Heerim in my sustainability group, and we really grew close together as we danced the night away at the school dance. Which I personally thought to be a great breakthrough because my other friends finally got to see the other side of me- the side that likes to move to music. Also, I was able to make some advances onto this really cute beau by dancing with him. He was shy (a really attractive feature to me.) 

What a great night. Also, a Korean family friend who I had previously thought to be a total douche actually ended up being one of the friendly faces on the campus. His family invited me to dinner for the night, and being stuck in the house together actually caused us to bond together, establishing decent conversation and allowing us to mutually accept each other, something which had previously seemed impossible.

It was nice though, although it was a bit iffish when the following days, I was referred to as ‘Ilgon’s friend.’

It was nicely to get to know the people and break former prejudices. It was also slightly awkward going with a friend that seems to like me, but then it was okay and quite enjoyable when we got past the awkward silence.

 

My mom still isn’t here. Well, thanks mom, anyway. You’re the root of my poetic outcry.

 

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Downhill.

I was chatting last night with my friend on facebook when I idly clicked over to see whose birthdays it was- when I realized (in utmost disbelief and embarrassment) that it was my sister’s birthday today. Yes, I have really gone down to that level. It’s terrible, the important things in my life have deteriorated to the point where I can only remember anniversaries thanks to Facebook. Oh, how old me would scorn new me. Blurgh. So here I am on a Sunday morning (which is quite a cool day for a birthday), desperately trying to complete an English assignment that was due yesterday, whilst listening to the moans of my puppy wanting some of my attentino, and weighed by the fact that I don’t have a present, and there is nowhere I can get one with my situation in Zimbabwe. My luckiest bet is going to the fleamarket and picking up some African attire and cheap nail polish. Oh, how she would love that. 

PROCRASTINATION! >.< I have to figure out what Wilson Owen did in 1910. Lovely.

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2 days before Christmasssssssss.

I love my fellow bloggers, but still. Guys. Come on. I read about bloggers complaining about hearing too much Christmas music, or being surrounded by so many fairy lights that they are getting headaches, or the fact that they don’t want to go out and socialize with the mad hoard of happy celebratory people. 

Now let me depict my wonderful life. I am at home. I have been stuck at home for the past five days straight!  Cabined, cribbed, confined indeed! My family working together in th e same business means that they work every single day of this holiday, save two days on Christmas day and the day after. This means 0 companionship, 0 transport resulting in 0 Christmas gifts. Sorry. Nothing I can do.

Even better, my house is undergoing some delightful reconstruction meaning bang, bang, bang throughout the day whilst everyone is banging up everything and fixing and being all Bob the builder but in African form.  There is no festivity found in this house AT ALL. My parents are Buddhist and being the only Christian, this basically means no presents, no celebration with fine cuisine and liquor, no Christmas decorations or lights.

Basically, what happens on Christmas is that I wake up, and realise that the house is deserted because my parents have left to go play golf by themselves. (quite similar to today’s scenario.) I woke up today, taking some pictures of my pet dog whilst clicking the heart on Instagram for all my friends happy days at London carnivals and beach fun.

So, everyone, let us remember what Christmas is all about. I don’t really know.

Anyways, just appreciate, and be happy!

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Another lonely Christmas in Zim

One thing you should know about Zimbabwe is that every thing is always, always constant. Nothing ever really changes around here. Change is so rare, in fact, that it is a celebration when there is any hint of it. Recently, a new Pick and Pay was built here (a chain supermarket from South Africa) and it was hailed on facebook with the establishment of it’s very own facebook fan page, and regularly updated pictures of it’s coming-out from the rubble. On a side note, I am actually very excited for it’s first real cinemas with real, ON TIME movies being played. How exhilarating. 

As an Asian teen living in Zimbabwe, since the age of three I am practically borne of the Zimbabwean race.  I’ve had my shares of ups and downs that alter my feeling towards this place, both crazy and terribly sane which I will, maybe get to, sometime on.

A trivial example is for instance, right now, 22nd of December, the day after when we were all supposedly going to die. It’s 6 in the morning, casually and quite excitedly typing up with what I thought to be an appropriate initial attempt in blogging – for who isn’t interested in other woeful tales of Christmas? I am lying in bed, all snuggly, and this FLY, just wont leave me alone. What is a fly doing in my room? I understand mosquitos but this little flying piece of nonsense wont leave me alone. 

Wow, I have some serious attention span problems.

Anyway, my parents being Buddhist really don’t celebrate Christmas, which is quite unfortunate for me, being a Christian and all. 

This means that whilst all my other lovely, Western friends receive presents and dine on fine cuisine whilst playing something really cool, like board games, I get to sit at home whilst my parents abandon me to go and play golf. I receive no gifts whatsoever and I am doomed to venting out all my troubles on my unfortunate diary. 

This year, I wanted it to be different. I decided that I was in the spirit of giving, even though there really is no receiving. (And being the selfless person that I am, I promised myself that I was allowed to really spoil myself should I find something of my desire.) 

I did all the corny things people do, searching typical things online which did ultimately mild insult my feminist views with the claims that mothers do really want spices, cooking pans and other kitchen appliances for Christmas.

It did tickle me though, when one website suggested that I buy her a yoga mat. Genial.

I had all these plans, and I was quite excited until three days ago when I first had this idea. I’ve been trying to get out of this house to go achieve these merry goals, but my family, as usual, are especially busy at Christmas, resulting in me moping around pointlessly at home. In fact, I’ve been stuck at home for the past four days, whilst my friends party at exotic countries. The only source of transport is my mom who refuses to take me anywhere after work. This is incredibly unfortunate and extremely depressing for me. I’m so short tempered, it’s crazy. Short bread.

So voila to another Christmas ordinarily, and lonely spent.

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